Thoughts

I dreamt last night that some of my best friends from udub came to visit me here in Kristiansand as a surprise, and I was really surprised. It's when you have these dreams that you are disappointed when you wake up, and you just want to go back to sleep to spend some more minutes with the familiar faces you miss so much. But you don't realise that you miss them until you see them. Or hear them.
This has been a strange day. For some reasons my moods (yes, in plural) are changing all the time. One moment I can feel sad for no reason whatsoever. And then that's forgotten and I'm just tired or I'm actually happy and can enjoy the nice May weather. It's strange to feel out of yourself. It's hard to explain.
Have you ever had those moments when you feel that you can look at everything you do from the outside and not really be present in the moment. Everything goes by as if you aren't there. And there is this feeling of emptiness.

I guess it's just phases that we as humans go through. Not every day can be filled with sun. Today it was also the first time I actually realised that I don't know what next year will bring. My whole life I have known at this time what to do next year, but now..I don't know. Of course I know that I will either be in England or in Bergen, but I don't know which it will be. Additionally, if it's Bergen, then I have no plans for what to do after Christmas. Normally, I have the whole year planned, but now I have nothing planned. In some ways it's nice because I really have to trust God, but in other ways..well, uncertainty is mostly confusing. It is not me not knowing at all what the future brings. I have never planned years ahead, and I have never really known what to make out my life, but I have always known more than three months ahead approximately where to be the next semester. I just need to relax, I guess, because there is nothing I can do before I get replies to the applications I have sent different places.